When Anxiety Strikes

I’ve always been a worrier. I just didn’t realize how bad it had gotten until this year. My little episodes of worry have magnified into full blown anxiety attacks.

If I listed all the reasons why I’ve been having anxiety attacks lately, it might make sense or even seem justified. It’s been a really rough year. But instead of focusing on the justifications of why I feel so anxious lately, I’m becoming very aware of the underlying problem. Distrust.

It’s really hard for me to say or write it out because it just seems like an awful thing for a Christian to say. But the underlying problem with all of my anxiety has been this: my distrust in God. And it’s crazy for me to say that’s true because I DO love him, I have faith, I know Jesus is my Savior. So why is it so hard to trust that He has it all under control when everything around me feels so completely out of my control?

And that, my friend, has been my answer all along.

I distrust God when I fear like I’m losing control.

I want things done my way and in my time. Little hiccups here and there? OK, that’s fine. But when things are completely thrown out of whack, and everything that I’m trying isn’t working, then I wonder “where is God in all of this? Why isn’t he answering my prayers?”

When I try to take control and manipulate situations because I think I know what’s best for me, I leave little to no room for God to be God. And then when things aren’t working out the way I think it should be, the fear creeps in to the worst-case scenarios, I start grasping for any kind of answer and wisdom that might help my situation, and then my anxiety sets in.

And this whole time, I’m praying. I’m reading the Bible. I’m asking for help. But you know what else I’m doing? I’m doubting it all. I doubt by second-guessing situations, Googling and searching endlessly for answers I feel like God can’t provide right now, and again, trying to take as much control as I can in the situation.

As I write this, I am only 3 days removed from a full blown anxiety attack. I am still living in the unknown of personal health issues. Just like I want answers to why I’m having symptoms and not just masking it with medications, I know that figuring out the root of the problem with my anxiety is the first step in decreasing my anxiety in the future.

So how do we trust God in times of uncertainty?

1. Remember His goodness and how He’s delivered you in the past. Be grateful of everything He has given you and continues to do for you.
2. Read the Bible and see how God always keeps His promises to His people. There are endless accounts of how God has shown mercy and grace to His people and has kept His promises. The most incredible one being giving His one and only son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins and raising him from the dead so that we can have eternal life with Him one day.
3. Pray. Pray for forgiveness of your distrust. Pray for help that you would indeed trust in Him and not rely on your own understanding. Ask for patience for His timing and the strength to be able to withstand the trials with His help. Ask for His wisdom and realize that the best and safest place in times of uncertainty is in the center of God’s will, not our own.

I’m not saying I have it all figured out. It’s actually the complete opposite. I’m declaring that I don’t have it figured out at all and I need God. I can’t do this alone. I need to let go of the fear, doubt, and control, and let God be God. To trust in Him, his timing, and his love for me.

May God continue to work in me and those reading this as you deal with the difficulties and struggles in life. We were never promised an easy life but He did promise to go before us and stand beside us as we go through our struggles.