A couple of nights ago, I stayed up tossing and turning because I could not fall asleep. Maybe it was the 5:00 PM coffee I drank or the fact that I have a million thoughts running through my head of the upcoming move and other things that have been going on in my life lately. I endlessly scrolled social media to the point where I was getting upset at myself. I went on Zillow, googled things endlessly, to the point where it was 1 am and I was just done.
In my exhaustion, I said a little prayer, like I usually do before going to sleep. And as I laid there, I felt God speaking to me. The voice that I know so well but often ignore because it’s inconvenient. He reminded me of how I’ve put this blog and future projects for My Discovery Year on the back burner. I’ve been more focused on the content that I can produce on my Instagram than the real reason why I started this project of self discovery in the first place.
Yes, Instagram has been a great way to spread the gospel and has allowed me to post helpful tips along the way. Catchy reels and cute quotes that I hope will resonate with others. But He reminded me that my purpose is greater than that. And though I don’t know exactly what He has planned for me, He did remind me that I have not been putting in the effort that I did when I first started. It was convicting.
I think we all do that once in awhile. We get really close to God and can discern His voice. But then we choose to ignore it or put it on the back burner because it’s not convenient to our schedule or what we want to do. Or we say “yep, I’m going to do that,” but find a million different tasks or things that “need to get done” in place of what He has called us to do.
This half-hearted commitment can lead to prideful behavior. At least it has for me. By not surrendering completely to His will, I find myself looking more at “likes” and “views” instead of, “How am I furthering the kingdom with my words and actions.”
God calls us to be completely committed to Him and His calling in our lives. To completely surrender and live differently for Him. To follow Jesus on His terms, not our own.
No more half-hearted “yes, Lord” and moving onto the next menial task. No more worrying about what people will say or think.
Even if it doesn’t make sense right now. He is working a good thing in you. And the incredible thing is, you don’t have to do it by yourself. God is partnering with you and carries you through the tasks that He calls us to do.
So as I sit here feeling convicted and pressed to move forward in the endeavors He has put on my heart, I encourage you think about what God is calling you to do today.
Colossians 3:23-24
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